i think i'm a bad person.
the last thing i wanna do is to afflict
distress and agonise others.
i loathe it when others get hurt
because of my actions, my words.
at no time in my life, have i felt that
"I" was more conspicuous than "him",
"her", and "them".
everyone else meant much more.
so to those that i've done unjustice to,
in one way or another, it is to most certain
that i've never ever meant to cause
you any grieve or to vitiate you.
i'm sorry. forgive me.

be understanding.
that's one of the criterias for the possible
existence of harmony between people.
if you're selfish, demanding and hoggish,
problems will definitely arise.
it doesnt matter what you want or need,
its a matter of what they want or need too.
if we only focus on ourselves,
be parsimonious and thoughtless, we
would drive everyone close, away.
there ought to be a compromise.

i've had enough. i must be satisfied.
F-R-E-E-D-O-M. seven letters.
one word that all homosapiens desire.
yet very often, we take it away from others.
sometimes when we want something
or someone so badly, we want to keep them
in our pockets, hide them.
we tend to forget that what's meant to be
ours will eventually be ours even if we
set them free. like love.
and i wont grasp onto you too tightly
because i know you need to breathe.

i'm no longer the woman i used to know.
maybe because you're not the same man
that i know from the very beginning.
you're better today than yesterday.
and our love, its growing.
from a seed, its a seedling now.
weathering all the rain and light.
soon, soon, soon, it will be as strong as
a full grown tree. we'll give it time.

anxiety keeps building up.
D-DAY is nearing.
i'm as frightened as he is.
i've never dated a NS man.
but i'm sure its no easy task.
it will be a rollercoaster
and we hang on.


/my heart is all tangled up.
three days.